Ok, boomer: the dictionary so that your years don't show on your tongue
Let's set the scene. It's Friday night and you're already in the mood to go all out. Your Handsomefyer has made you look amazing for a selfie session that would make the Kardashians jealous, and you're ready to show it off to the world.
Cameras, lights, action, and let the algorithm do its magic.
Suddenly, something vibrates. You get a notification. You think, "Is that from Tinder?" But when you look at your phone, keep an eye on the message:
"I tried to speak, but such beauty prevents me from formulating prose worthy of its grace. So great is its beauty that when it greets someone, every tongue falls silent. So great is its sweetness that I cannot understand why someone would not wish to taste it. And so great is my desire that it seems to spring from my lips: I invite you to ride across the Valley of Castile, you little rascal."
You waiting for a “🥵"And you find a Garcilaso hotter than a sauna doorknob."
Does this sound strange to you? Well, you shouldn't. Look, don't get us wrong. You might not see Garcilaso in your DMs every day, but language changes so fast and so erratically that we're constantly going from one generational clash to another.
We have a mix of baby boomers, Generation X, millennials, Generation Z… Some are so "effective and wonderful," and others are so "okay, boomer." And it doesn't matter what age you are, you just have to open your ears a little to realize that the years also show on our lips.
The result? It's a chaotic mess where it seems like we're all speaking different languages. It's not like this is an Erasmus exchange! So if your date didn't live through OT1 and rolls their eyes when you say "nasty de plasty", or if your sugar daddy doesn't understand why you and your friends say "like" so many times in a 5-minute conversation... We've done the review and brought you the dictionary with expressions from yesterday and today so that language brings you more joy than misunderstandings.
Heads up, they don't teach you this in language schools, but you'll definitely use it more than you used your Trinity B1. One last warning: get ready, because there's a time jump or two coming up (we do love a good time-jump, a good shake-up).
BACK TO THE FUTURE DICTIONARY!
1. In a plan. The absolute number one. 80% of any current conversation. Our inseparable tag, because we do love a bit of embellishment.
2. The whore turn. A short stroll to test the waters. It's a one-way trip, because you never know if you'll come back with a few extra drinks, friends, or trouble.
3. Tonight… stroller. After that crazy trip, your suspicions are confirmed. Tonight, a real adventure is in store (and not by car, either).
4. Some things are coming. When you want to create hype and announce that something new is going to happen on that emotional rollercoaster that is your life. Ironically or not, that's up to each person's taste.
5. Send nudes. The most graphic and sought-after sexting. It's an informal request to show what you wouldn't even show your best friends.
6. And I say if I get confused. What started as a trend in Instagram Stories has now become a strategy for getting straight to the point. Basically, like the Disneyland fast-track pass (lots of rides and lots of games).
7. Ontas. Where are you? When they've got you on speed dial for a quickie. A hang-up call or a booty call. Call it what you want, but... your place or mine?
8. Ghosting. That fling that seemed so transparent turned out to be a total creep. Being left on read, with a double blue checkmark... and with half the dignity if you write back.
9. Hey, forgetful one. It's the standard message when the sender knows you haven't spoken since 1987... or when you're the one who ghosted them.
10. Simp. A pushover, a simp… and a pest too. He's someone with a single mission in life: to flatter you in order to get laid.
11. Hater. A hater, a troll, a rabidly envious person. Someone who seeks to provoke, offend, or be a nuisance in the worst possible way.
12. Cancel. The new justice of the internet. If the celebrity of the moment happens to have a silver tongue and makes a huge mess of things, the Twitter hordes will launch a cancel campaign faster than you can Google what happened.
13. What a sight/What a circus. A panorama, a show, a spectacle that will make you want to throw your hands up in despair.
14. Don't stress. The natural evolution of the 'tranquitron'. So you can stop overthinking it, this is starting to sound like a Turkish soap opera.
15. Ok, boomer. If someone is stuck in 1960, constantly talking about the "snowflake generation" and "easily offended," or doesn't understand 99% of this dictionary, we can only offer one response: OK, boomer. Kids today don't have time for such a high degree of outdated thinking.
16. It rents to me. that suits you, that you feel like it, that you're in the mood.
17. Extremely ripped. You're stronger than vinegar, period.
18. Facherito. Everything that's cool, trendy, and fun to look at. If someone tells you that you look really stylish, it means you dress great (but you undress even better).
19. No puc mès. For when your vital battery runs out or you're fed up&Everything costs €. We can't do any more, for those who aren't bilingual.
20. Crush. A platonic love, but modern. The sky's the limit.
21. Stalking. When you thoroughly check your ex's social media, you're stalking like a true Gossip Girl (XOXO).
22. Shipping. When you create imaginary folders in your head. Because you knew before anyone else that Bárbara Rey and Chelo García Cortés had… a night… of love.
23. Goals. What we aspire to. It's perfect. It's your life's goal. It's your objective. It's your new way of saying you're healthily envious.
24. Ma'am, if you want a bag. For those feeling nostalgic, it's the equivalent of "don't get carried away, Charles Boyer" or "let's get moving, that's a gerund."
25. Goodbye, Maricarmen. See you later, Lucas. Bye, codfish. Well, that's it, we're off now.
With the tongue more alive than ever.
25 expressions to help us understand how language has evolved in the last 25 years (give or take a year). But there are so many words, expressions, and memes that have been left out of this list that we're earning ourselves a textbook "ok, boomer."
So we'll have to come back in another 25 days (or next month) to do the updated version. What's clear is that language is alive (although I'm sure you already know that, right?) and, however much our language changes, the goal remains the same: to understand each other. It's a matter of evolving and updating (almost as much as you update Tinder).
P.S. Your expressions might give you away sometimes, but your face won't. Take care of it. That's why today's post is sponsored by our Handsomefyer , the all-in-one cream with a healthy glow effect as if you woke up with the hot Instagram filter on in real life.
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We do cool, right!
