Onanism ≠ a date with yourself
If you're in a relationship (or have a casual fling), you've probably already made some "special" plans. But before the week officially ends, we wanted to remind you that there's still someone waiting for some quality time with you. The person who most deserves your attention and affection. You.
Today, this is about dates with yourself.
Are you joining the plan tonight?
No, sorry... I've already made plans – with myself
When was the last time you said something like that? Probably never. It might sound weird or like you're socially awkward. But think of it this way: When was the last time you put yourself before the time others demanded of you?
- To your boss or company that requires your attention during office hours
- Taking the dog or children for a walk (which for us, are essentially the same thing)
- Spend time with your partner or a Tinder date
- To commitments, colleagues, errands,…
- …
We don't expect you to suddenly change your life, bang your fist on the table and turn around. We're just encouraging you to try a crazy idea: a first-date with you.
Okay, I'll give it a try... how do I cook it up?
Well, this whole self-dating thing is... the same thing you would do if you were going to meet someone:
- Block out a period of time when you won't be interrupted. It could be 1 hour or 30 minutes. The key is not to turn on the meter or look at the clock.
- Work on the where (it could be the bathtub, the bedroom, or your favorite place), how (If you know what you like... then invest a little in yourself, in candles, in cool music, in a self-massage cream in what you rent…) and when (as with everything, there are morning, afternoon, or night shifts… whenever you're awake and open)
- Without cheating. If you wouldn't do it with a date, it doesn't count when you're alone: playing on your phone or console, taking a nap, reading a book... All of that is great for disconnecting and resting, but remember, the goal of this mess is to be alone with yourself and connect.
What if one thing leads to another and I get really carried away… is sex allowed?
However, just as fucking is different from making love, masturbating is also very different from making love.
Look at it this way: we've grown up masturbating without thinking about 'us'. While you're jerking off, you think about an image or someone that turns you on, you watch porn with your eyes glued to a screen, you have a zombie wank after sitting on your hand for a while…
As if you weren't the protagonist of the story 🙅🏽♂️ Making love is a tad more intra-personal.
It's about rediscovering your body without rushing. About touching yourself all over and exploring every sensation and the response it evokes in you. It's about getting aroused… by yourself.
If that sounds too flower-power to you, we'll tell you that there are books which suggest that this self-discovery is the gateway to male multiorgasm (so you have one more incentive to try it) 😉).
And when you're done... don't get dressed and leave; stay for the cuddles afterwards.
Being comfortable alone with oneself
Does it still sound like an alien to you? 👽 What's this about putting in the effort to arrange a date with the person who's going to be with you for the rest of your life? You already push yourself hard the rest of the year and there are already too many people taking over your calendar, so you lose nothing by booking a self-appointment today, right now.
I don't know; maybe the first day you do it for the fun and novelty, and it turns out you have a super interesting conversation with yourself where laughter, funny memories, worries, etc., come up…
You might suddenly do it again in four months. With time, it might even become a habit... And with practice, you might discover that you love it. And enchanting oneself is generous, healthy, wonderful… and rarely practiced.
A test of love; of self-love, the ultimate test 🖤
P.S: This week's post is sponsored by our face masks Heroes' Recharging MaskAn ideal complement if you want your self-date to have a relaxing and cosmetic care ingredient.
You can put them on while you're taking a bath, while you're just lying around, or... find the situation you like best, because our masks adapt to your face and multiply the pleasure.
HEROES' RECHARGING MASK
Pack of 4 hydrogel face masks with a recharging effect. They hydrate, refresh, help with blemishes, and reduce wrinkles and the effects of the previous day's hangover.
Siwon
We do cool, right!
