YOUR SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMES

This year it's time for the Olympic Games again. Whether you're passionate about sports or not, there's no other event capable of bringing together so many millions of people in front of the TV, from the comfort of their sofas and with a beer (or other refreshing drink) in hand.

🎯Archery? Let's go.

🏋🏼‍♀️Weightlifting? Give me three hours.

⚾Gentlemen playing a sport similar to baseball but which is not actually baseball baseballI just found out it exists, but I'm also interested in it for a nap.

🏇🏼Elegant riders jumping over obstacles with their horses? I have no idea why something like that is considered an Olympic sport, but I say More!, I love you and I want more... and I'll add another beer.

My Olympic Games, My Rules

The Olympic spirit, pushing the limits of the human body, the epic nature of competition… All that's great… as long as everyone else is doing it. Because the way things are, nobody wants to go out and imitate them and melt in the heat. That said, here's a list of more affordable and local alternatives to show that organizing your own summer games is possible:

1. Free weight:

Basically, forget about your diet for 30 days and indulge in an all-you-can-eat buffet until everything's gone. You paid for it, so you need to get your money's worth.

2. Two-stage lift:

Getting up from the sofa or beach chair... with a pause in the middle of the squat to breathe and avoid dizziness. The sun, the drop in blood pressure, a few too many beers... whatever it is, at this time of year we all see more blackheads than usual because we try to rush from one place to another.

3. (Hold) Candle(s):

Here's what's going to happen if you share a room with friends and one of them gets hooked. Not only will you have to deal with the whole "planting" process, but you might end up sleeping on the sun lounger or the beach just so your best friend can get high in the room.

4. 200 meters… soaking:

Think about it: you, your favorite float, and some enclosed body of water to keep you from ending up stranded on a deserted island. Choose your favorite swamp, pool, or stream and let the breeze carry you along while you stay afloat. Pure adventure.

5. Track and field (night):

You're probably somewhere you're not known, somewhere you'll never go back... so you can surrender your soul to the gods of dance each night and join in the choreography put together by the MC. Anything goes: the Pajaritos, the Macarena, the Aserejé... all the dances you swear off the rest of the year are now, right now, valid.

6. Fencing:

The one where you're going to look like you're wearing a crazy red wig on the first day, or however you decide to do those culturally appropriated braids, or imitate Bad Bunny or Omar Montes' outfits. Shein's aesthetic and prices have done a lot of damage, and there are certain outfits that should be banned by the UN.

7. GOLF (rivers):

Without malice or ill intentions… but it's understood that summer is for that. Everyone is lighter, more cheerful, more playful… and more open to mind-body games.

8. (A)Bar jump:

You're too old to be getting a Tinkiwinki every day... but summer, the heat, and the beach bar are the perfect excuse to go a little... exercise 7 chapter 3, you know what I mean? That thing where everything seems funnier without you really knowing why.

Sports, no, extremely sporty (and yes, very tasty)

The point is... enjoy yourself without stressing out.We're not going to bore you with manuals and guides for exercising in the summer (you have as one million YouTubers (Right now, you're killing yourself with CrossFit just for you), but we do recommend skipping the cardio and workouts for a few days. It's summer. the immortal words by El Cordobés, it is to get your mind right, to truly love yourself, to be healthy, to have a strong body, to have power, to be happy, to love yourself a lot, because you also love the person next to you and everything comes from the heart, ... from sport. Come on, it's about being cool with yourself (but without suffering like the Olympians on TV).

Enjoy Summer and the Olympic Games Your Way

P.D: And one final piece of advice to avoid even more unwanted consequences of summer sports ➡️

Handsomefyer Sun, if you're going to be in the sun.
Melonizer, aftersun + tan extender if you've already got a tan and there's no going back.
Sporture, to protect thighs, nipples and high friction areas from chafing.